How authentic are you being?
My story around being able to show up in all my authenticity has been quite a rollercoaster. At my core, I am full of joy, wonder and love. I feel such a fire in my belly to help people live life from their hearts and in possibility rather than in fear.
However, as a child, I was punished for being joyful and for any time when my focus was anything other than giving attention to my Mother. As a result, I learnt to rein myself in, to ensure that I paid careful attention to understanding what others expected of me and updated my ‘rules for living’ with validation from others as to how ‘acceptable’ my behaviour was.
Within that framework there was very little space for authenticity. I never responded to the way I felt – all my focus was on external factors. my behaviours were all around serving everyone else. I would ask people questions about what mattered to them, answer any questions addressed to me quickly and then put the focus back on them. If ever I mentioned something that was going well, I would couch it with ‘But, I’m sure it won’t last’ or talk about other things that were not going well straight afterwards. I would let others make all the decisions, always offer utmost support to everyone and never mention my struggles. I didn’t know who I was for much of my 20’s and 30’s.
As I began to release pain, relax my nervous system and bit by bit update my belief systems, I could begin the shedding of all the layers that blocked me expressing my authentic self.
Firstly, I began to volunteer little bits of information about myself, then allow myself to take time to give details, then to express an opinion that I wasn’t sure if others would agree with. I kept moving past the fear and pain and shame thoughts that would come up each time, using Quantum Healing to release them. And over time, as I kept moving towards what felt true for me, I’ve been able to speak out about my understanding of how our energy can become so entangled with all the things that we do not want in our lives.
It’s been a difficult and also an amazing journey, but one that I feel so alive for having gone through. I still have some way to go, but I know that I will keep pushing through and releasing what needs to be released to be all that I can be.
The amazing thing is that as I have shown up more authentically, I have a deeper connection with others than ever before, and my friendships are now deeply supportive of the real me, rather than superficial. And, some incredible opportunities and experiences are coming into my life.
How often do you catch yourself holding back—saying or doing what you think others expect instead of what feels true to you?
Ask yourself these questions:
1) Are there parts of your life that you would feel deeply uncomfortable to talk to others about? If so, why? What are you telling yourself about others response?
2) Are there conversations that you are engaging in that don’t feel good to you? Maybe gossip or chat from a place of fear. How can create a boundary about not engaging with this?
3) How can you celebrate your uniqueness —the traits and talents that make you you - today?
If you’re ready to identify and release the patterns and beliefs that keep you stuck I would love to help. Here’s to being bravely, beautifully authentic.